62-year old Alabama fan arrested for poisoning oak trees at Auburn |
- 62-year old Alabama fan arrested for poisoning oak trees at Auburn
- VIDEO: Australian “Today” show anchors discuss “long stabby thing”
- Keeley Hazell is still out there, still sexy
- Watson gets the Taiwanese animation treatment
- BREAKING: Miguel Cabrera arrested for drunk driving
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| 62-year old Alabama fan arrested for poisoning oak trees at Auburn Posted: 17 Feb 2011 08:47 AM PST A 62-year old Alabama fan named Harvey Almorn Updyke is the man responsible for poisoning the oak trees at Auburn’s infamous Toomer’s Corner. We briefly hit on it this morning but supposedly Updyke called a local radio station to fess up to the dirty deed and played it off as a practical joke. John Q. law in Alabama isn’t as amused though and Updyke was arrested and is currently being held on bond. According the Associated Press, here is what he told the radio station after identifying himself as “Al from Dadeville”.
And of course, he ended the call with “Roll Damn Tide”, because, you know, sports and mental incapacity go hand-in-hand. I hope for Mr. Updyke’s sake that his cellmate in the clink isn’t an Auburn fan. That could make for some uncomfortable shower moments. |
| VIDEO: Australian “Today” show anchors discuss “long stabby thing” Posted: 17 Feb 2011 07:29 AM PST Not interested in letting the crew from Belinda Heggen and Mark Aiston’s “small but impressive” clip (that we broke first) get all the attention, the team from Australia’s “Today” show discusses a “long stabby thing”. And boy do those double entendres fly. This clip is the equivalent of a big budget remake of a low-budget, critically acclaimed film (with the brilliant Heggen/Aiston clip clearly the inspiration). “Today” hosts Lisa Wilkinson and Karl Stefanovic seem to be trying their hardest to be straight men to saucy co-host Georgie Gardner’s big, grand dick joke. But Georgie delivered her lines with all the genuineness and humor of a woman being forced to act in an adult film at gunpoint. Please just let Aiston and his moderately sized yet hard working genitals have their moment to shine. No need to ruin such a beautiful moment in Australian journalism be sullied with this subpar sequel. Though I’d be lying if I said I weren’t mildly turned on by Georgie Gardner’s somewhat blasé implied lust for oversized genitals. That's What They Said of the Day [The Daily What] |
| Keeley Hazell is still out there, still sexy Posted: 17 Feb 2011 07:00 AM PST  Suddenly I am feeling the need for medical attention... A couple of days ago I was pining for a return of one Keeley Hazell and boom, I run across her 2011 calendar. Glad to see that she hasn’t completely quit being a sexy babe to earn a living. Hmm… aren’t British boobie babe calendars supposed to feature a heavy dose of, umm, boobs? Sure, Keeley looks good, great even, but now this is two times in the last year (her only two appearances as far as I can tell) that I have seen professionally produced photos of Keeley that nary a nipple can be found. This is all Kelly Brook’s fault, I swear. Giving these girls hopes of going mainstream by hiding the goods. First Rosie Jones and now Keeley. Oh well, it’s false hope. They’ll be back. And by “they” I of course mean their boobs.         |
| Watson gets the Taiwanese animation treatment Posted: 17 Feb 2011 06:36 AM PST The funniest part of Jeopardy last night was — without question — when Ken Jennings wrote “I for one welcome our robot overlords” on his final Jeopardy answer. Jennings only bet like $1,000 or thereabouts, and Watson, meanwhile, ended up throwing $19,374 (approximately) into the ring despite having the lead. Of course, he won $1,000,000 — for charity! — and the silly humans only won $500,000 combined, but it might be a bit too early, as the Taiwanese animation video indicates below, to start really worrying about these robots taking over our lives. |
| BREAKING: Miguel Cabrera arrested for drunk driving Posted: 17 Feb 2011 06:21 AM PST Detroit Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera was arrested late Wednesday night on charges of drunk driving.
What’s even worse about this situation is that Cabrera had apparently been sober or had told the club he had been sober since his incident in 2009 that involved an arrest in Birmingham, MI after a fight with his wife. He had attended a rehab facility after the conclusion of the season and allegedly hasn’t had a problem since then. Who knows where or what this means in the short term for Cabrera. But in the long run, repeated trips to the Betty Ford Clinic won’t be tolerated by the Detroit Tigers nor many other teams in MLB. Tigers’ Miguel Cabrera charged with DUI in Fla [Free Press] |
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